How often have you felt aggrieved because someone made you feel bad? How often have you allowed other people to negatively influence what you believe about yourself, other people or circumstances? While it’s unquestionably reasonable to expect other people to treat you with respect and positively impact you, the reality is no one can make you feel or believe anything unless you choose to let them.
Too many people I meet are more concerned about what other people think than what they themselves know is the truth. While easier said than done we all have the power to choose the thoughts we entertain and emotions we feel. Most people are likely to have doubts or fears come to mind from time to time. Most are likely to experience hesitation and uncertainty. What matters most is how we choose to respond to these moments. Whether we choose to believe our thoughts, accept them as truths or reject them and remove them from our mind matters not only to our happiness but also success.
As the great Mahatma Gandhi once said “Don’t let anybody walk through your mind with dirty feet”. I love that quote! Just because other people choose to think and express negative sentiment or limiting belief doesn’t mean we need to also – not matter who they are or how important they are to you. Owning your thoughts is the first step to managing how you feel. Until you choose to take control and consciously decide what you think or believe your happiness and success will be in the hands of other people.
The most important things you can do to own your thoughts and feelings are:
- Learn to objectively observe your thoughts and feelings
- Deliberately choose those you give power to and allow to impact you
- Be open to influence from other people but choose wisely what you take on board
- Know that even if it’s buried deep down inside you, only you know what is right for you
- Be discerning about who you pay attention to – if you don’t respect or trust someone don’t allow them to muddy your thoughts
- Remember someone’s perception is their reality it doesn’t make them right
- Listen to your gut instinct – if something doesn’t feel right then chances are it isn’t
- Keep in mind that we all have different values, beliefs, hopes and dreams. You don’t need to conform to others – just be the best possible version of you
- Make sure you trust and respect your own perspective as much as those of the people you admire
Ultimately it comes down listening to people you trust, considering their perspective, weighting it with your own and choosing what feels right.